Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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