We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
