when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
