you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
