It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I want you more than these girls want KFC
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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