You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
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