I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I fill condoms, not promises.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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