I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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