It's Friday. Sex?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
