Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
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we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
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I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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