I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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