She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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