so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
