you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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