A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
