Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
