i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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