i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
