you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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