I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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