At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize