i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
