Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Randomize