alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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