like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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