He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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