Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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