I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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