she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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