The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
