margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
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