My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
