i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize
