But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I just gift wrapped bread.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
