is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
