Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
