I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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