wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
