Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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