He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
