i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
He better not be in your backpack
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon