I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Where is the hickey?
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.