i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.