This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar