My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
High School Students Hilariously Rank Celebrities By Their Stank For Class Project
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
15 Things You Truly Understand If You Sleep Next To Someone Who Snores Like A Rhinoceros Every Night
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?