He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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