i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
