Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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