I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize