Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
