I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
