I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
