everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
