Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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