before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
