Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Screwed.edu
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
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