There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Randomize
