He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
