can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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