Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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