this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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