You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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