they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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