I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
