I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
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